What exactly is libido?
Libido, much more than just a sexual drive, is a concept deeply rooted in human psychology. It represents the vital force that animates our deepest desires and shapes our interactions in the realms of sexuality and love. Imagine it as an internal source of energy, a driving force that guides our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions toward the sphere of intimacy and connection with others.
This internal engine of sexual desire is not limited to a simple quest for physical pleasure, although it certainly includes this aspect. It also encompasses a deep desire for emotional connection, sharing, and intimacy with a partner. Thus, libido is a multidimensional force that fuels our physical and emotional aspirations in the realm of sexuality.
The diversity of libido is as fascinating as the diversity of individuals themselves. It varies from one person to another, influenced by a multitude of factors such as age, hormonal fluctuations, past experiences, current relational dynamics, and even cultural contexts. This variability makes libido a complex reality, where each individual can experience and express their desire in a way that is unique to them.
Furthermore, libido evolves over time, reflecting the different stages of a person's life. It can be intensely vivid at some moments and more subdued at others, but it is always present, an underlying force that influences our relationships and our sexual identity.
In summary, libido is not just a trivial aspect of human sexuality; it is a fundamental element of our being, a dynamic force that guides our intimate interactions and nourishes our self-expression.
The impact of PCOS on a woman's sexual life
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) can impact a woman's intimate life in several ways. Here are some aspects that may be affected:
- Physical Impacts of PCOS: Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) can manifest with various physical signs such as acne, hirsutism (excessive hair growth), weight gain, and changes in body appearance like fat distribution. These manifestations can significantly affect self-confidence and self-esteem in women, potentially leading to embarrassment and discomfort, particularly with acne and hirsutism, thus altering body image and self-perception, which can impact intimate relationships.
- Hormonal Disturbances: PCOS is characterized by hormonal imbalances, including an increase in androgens (male hormones) and a decrease in estrogens (female hormones), which can affect libido and sexual arousal in women. These hormonal fluctuations can lead to decreased libido, vaginal dryness, and reduced sexual sensitivity, which can negatively impact couple relationships, especially if the partner does not fully understand the implications of PCOS on sexual life.
- Fertility Challenges: The irregular or absent ovulations typical of PCOS often make conception difficult for affected women, generating significant emotional stress and concerns about fertility and the ability to conceive a family. Repeated failures can create tensions in the relationship, as well as feelings of frustration and despair. Additionally, the fertility treatments required can also impact sexual life, due to their invasive nature and potential side effects.
- Psychological Impacts: PCOS can have significant repercussions on mental health, increasing the risk of disorders such as anxiety, depression, and stress. The physical symptoms of PCOS, combined with fertility challenges, can contribute to poor self-esteem and concerns about body image, erecting emotional and psychological barriers to intimacy and sexual relations. These difficulties can lead to tension during sexual intercourse and a decrease in overall sexual life satisfaction.
Is Libido the Same for Men and Women?
Libido in women and men is influenced by distinct hormonal factors, leading to different manifestations of sexual desire.
In women, libido is closely tied to hormonal secretions, primarily from the ovaries. Sexual arousal is stimulated by hormones called androgens, typically associated with men but present in smaller amounts in women. Additionally, other hormones are responsible for the lubrication of mucous membranes, significantly contributing to the optimal functioning of libido in women.
In men, sexual desire is primarily influenced by testosterone, which is present in larger quantities than in women.
Decrease in Desire vs. Lack of Libido: What’s the Difference?
The difference between a decrease in libido and a simple decrease in sexual desire lies in the fact that the latter can be linked to specific factors such as pain, trauma, lack of pleasure or creativity, overwork, a sense of obligation, lack of self-awareness, or a lack of time and space to maintain desire. It is also possible for a decrease in libido to occur without necessarily leading to a decrease in sexual desire, and vice versa.
As highlighted by sexologists, it is important to distinguish and correlate these two terms to work more effectively. For example, a decrease in libido, commonly associated with "frigidity," can manifest without necessarily reducing the desire to have sex. This nuance allows for more tailored therapeutic approaches.
How to Recognize Signs of Low Libido?
It might also happen that sexual desire is not spontaneous but easily triggered in response to a partner's advances (preserved reactive sexual desire). In this case, it is not truly a lack of libido.
A person experiencing a lack of sexual desire might often cope with it fairly well. However, it can become problematic in certain situations:
- When the partner is affected by it.
- When one wants to feel desire but cannot.
- When the desire for sex is directed neither towards the partner nor an intimate relationship, but only towards oneself (masturbation) or other partners.
- When one feels abnormal due to this lack of libido.
Here are some common causes of low libido and what you can do to address them:
Relationship Problems
Conflicts or routine can lead to a loss of intimacy in your relationship, which can affect your sexual desire. Therapy can be beneficial to resolve these issues and restore communication with your partner.
Mental Health
Depression or anxiety can negatively influence your libido. It's important not to be too hard on yourself and to seek professional support if needed.
Hormonal Contraception
Some contraceptives can affect libido by disrupting the natural hormonal balance. The contraceptive pill can lead to a decreased libido in 20 to 40% of women, as it reduces the amount of testosterone in the female bloodstream.
Menopause
During the transition to menopause, women's estrogen levels decrease, which can lead to vaginal dryness, making sex painful or uncomfortable and potentially leading to avoidance of sexual relations.
How to Recognize Signs of Low Libido?
Low libido can manifest in various ways. Some people may experience a total disinterest in sex, including solo activities like masturbation, with an absence of erotic thoughts or fantasies. In other cases, this disinterest is specifically directed towards their partner, while maintaining sexual desire focused on themselves or towards other partners.
It might also happen that sexual desire is not spontaneous but easily triggered in response to a partner's advances (preserved reactive sexual desire). In this case, it is not truly a lack of libido.
A person experiencing a lack of sexual desire might often cope with it fairly well. However, it can become problematic in certain situations:
- When the partner is affected by it.
- When one wants to feel desire but cannot.
- When the desire for sex is directed neither towards the partner nor an intimate relationship, but only towards oneself (masturbation) or other partners.
- When one feels abnormal due to this lack of libido.
What Causes Low Libido?
A decrease in interest in sex is often related to stress, fatigue, or relationship problems. However, it can also be a symptom of an underlying medical issue, such as thyroid problems or a hormonal imbalance.
Here are some common causes of low libido and what you can do to address them:
Relationship Problems
Conflicts or routine can lead to a loss of intimacy in your relationship, which can affect your sexual desire. Therapy can be beneficial to resolve these issues and restore communication with your partner.
Mental Health
Depression or anxiety can negatively influence your libido. It's important not to be too hard on yourself and to seek professional support if needed.
Hormonal Contraception
Some contraceptives can affect libido by disrupting the natural hormonal balance. The contraceptive pill can lead to a decreased libido in 20 to 40% of women, as it reduces the amount of testosterone in the female bloodstream.
Menopause
During the transition to menopause, women's estrogen levels decrease, which can lead to vaginal dryness, making sex painful or uncomfortable and potentially leading to avoidance of sexual relations. However, after menopause, even though the ovaries produce very little estrogen, they continue to secrete relatively significant amounts of androgens like testosterone, which can sometimes lead to the appearance of unwanted facial hair at this age. Nonetheless, the androgen levels decrease compared to pre-menopause levels, which can contribute to a reduced sexual desire.
Pregnancy & Postpartum
Hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy, as well as after childbirth and during breastfeeding, can influence sexual desire. In addition to hormones, fatigue, physical changes, and stress related to the arrival of a new baby can also impact sexual desire.
Medication Side Effects & Health Problems
Certain medications, such as antidepressants, can decrease libido. Talk to your doctor if you think your medication is affecting your sexual desire. Health issues such as depression, thyroid disorders, or heart disease can also influence libido.
Substance Abuse
Abuse of alcohol or drugs can negatively affect libido. Seek help if you think you have a substance abuse problem.
Low Testosterone Levels
In men, testosterone is produced in the testicles and plays a crucial role in maintaining bone density, fat distribution, muscle mass, red blood cell production, sperm production, and sexual desire. As men age, testosterone gradually decreases, typically by about 1% per year after age 30. Sometimes, this decrease can be significant, leading to what is known as Age-Related Androgen Deficiency (ARAD). A decrease in testosterone can also be caused by illness, such as hypogonadism.
Prolactin
A high level of prolactin, a hormone involved in triggering and maintaining lactation, can inhibit sexual desire in both men and women.
Cognitive Distortions
Cognitive distortions that can disrupt sexual relations include:
- Negative anticipations, such as "I won't be able to reach orgasm," "I'll lose my erection," or "I'll get bored."
- Unrealistic expectations, like "a successful sexual encounter requires simultaneous orgasm," "my partner shouldn't have erection problems if they're excited by me," or "I must always remain dignified."
- Performance anxiety, with thoughts like "I need to maintain a firm and lasting erection for my partner's pleasure," "my partner's opinion of me depends on my sexual performance," "I must control my ejaculation," or "if I'm excited, I should never have lubrication issues."
- Misconceptions, such as "a man is judged by his erection," "penetration is essential for a successful sexual act," "a man has naturally stronger sexual needs than a woman," or "a woman needs romance to feel sexual pleasure."
For a satisfying sexual desire cycle, the sexual act should ideally provide pleasure (with or without orgasm), emotional satisfaction (intimacy with the partner), and a perception of the partner's satisfaction. Sexual pleasure can lose its appeal if it's not shared.
How to Stimulate Libido Again and What Treatments Are Available?
To stimulate libido and address low sexual desire, consider the following steps:
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Address Underlying Issues: Identify and address any physical or psychological factors contributing to low libido. This may include managing stress, improving sleep, and treating any underlying health conditions.
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Enhance Relationship Quality: Improve communication with your partner, resolve conflicts, and increase intimacy. Couples therapy can be helpful.
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Mental Health Support: Seek professional help for mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Therapy and, if necessary, medication can improve overall well-being and sexual desire.
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Review Medications: Talk to your doctor about any medications that might be affecting your libido. They may be able to adjust the dosage or suggest alternatives.
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Healthy Lifestyle: Maintain a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and avoid excessive alcohol or drug use. A healthy lifestyle can positively impact libido.
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Hormone Therapy: For some, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) may be an option to address hormonal imbalances, particularly during menopause.
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Sex Therapy: A sex therapist can help address specific sexual issues and provide strategies to enhance desire and satisfaction.
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Educational Resources: Educate yourself about sexual health and techniques to improve sexual intimacy and pleasure.
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Experimentation: Explore new ways to connect with your partner sexually, such as trying new activities, settings, or forms of touch.
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Professional Consultation: Always consult with healthcare providers to determine the most appropriate and effective treatment options for your specific situation.
The Principles of Treatment Aim to:
- Reassure the Couple: Reassure the couple that there are solutions, even if they feel stuck and skeptical about following therapy.
- Maintain a Bilateral Vision: Maintain a bilateral vision of the situation. It is not just an individual difficulty, but a problem of the sexual functioning of the couple as a whole.
- Encourage Awareness of Responsibility: Encourage awareness of each person's responsibility for their desire and arousal.
- Correct Cognitive Distortions: Correct cognitive distortions, i.e., interpret situations in a more appropriate way.
- Reduce and Manage Anxiety: Reduce and manage anxiety.
- Take into Account Emotional and Affective Aspects: Take into account the emotional and affective aspects involved in the sexual act.
- Improve Communication Techniques: Improve communication techniques within the couple, especially effective conflict management.
- Address and Mitigate Unconscious Fears: Address and mitigate unconscious fears, such as fear of intimacy, fear of losing control, or fear of diluting one's identity.
- Treat Other Sexual Disorders: Treat other sexual disorders present in the couple.
- Prevent Relapses: Prevent relapses.
It is common for one partner to be identified as having a lack of libido, but the cooperation of both partners is necessary for treatment, as the most obvious cause is not always the only one responsible, nor even the main one.
When the partner without libido issues refuses to participate in treatment, the results can be uncertain. Similarly, if the partner with a lack of libido is not genuinely motivated to change the situation, the results may be limited, especially if they derive indirect or unconscious benefits from the situation.
The presence of significant relational issues between the partners or the continuation of an extramarital relationship can make therapeutic cooperation impossible until these problems are resolved, or if one of the partners is not willing to make efforts for the couple.
It is often preferable to treat any psychopathological disorders present in one of the partners before addressing couple therapy.
Nutrition & Supplements
If you aspire to invigorate your sex life, it is worth exploring dietary options known for their natural and sustainable libido-boosting abilities.
Ginseng
This plant, famous in traditional Chinese medicine for its numerous health benefits, has also earned a reputation as an aphrodisiac. Limited studies suggest that ginseng may increase testosterone levels, a key hormone for stimulating sexual desire. Additionally, research on menopausal women has shown improvements in sexual arousal after taking ginseng.
Ginkgo Biloba Extract
Praised for its circulation-boosting properties, ginkgo biloba is considered a valuable ally in awakening sexual desire. One study even revealed that it significantly increased sexual desire and satisfaction when combined with specific therapy.
Maca
Native to the high plateaus of the Andes, maca is an adaptogenic plant known for its beneficial effects on libido and mood. Preliminary research suggests that it may increase testosterone levels in men, thereby improving sexual function.
Garlic
While its association with libido may seem unlikely, garlic is rich in allicin, a compound that promotes blood circulation, crucial for optimal sexual health. Additionally, garlic's cardiovascular benefits can also contribute to improved sexual performance.
Yohimbine
Originating from West Africa, yohimbine is sometimes referred to as "natural Viagra" due to its presumed effects on erectile function. However, its bitter taste and uncertain regulatory status highlight the need to consult a healthcare professional before use.
Raw Oysters
Although their reputation as an aphrodisiac might sometimes seem exaggerated, oysters are rich in zinc, an essential mineral for the production of sexual hormones like testosterone. Adequate zinc levels can be linked to increased libido and optimal sexual health.
Fenugreek
This popular supplement is praised for its multiple benefits, including its ability to increase testosterone and stimulate sexual appetite, energy, and mood. Although its effects on female libido are not as well documented, fenugreek remains a promising option for enhancing sexual health.
By wisely incorporating these foods into your daily diet, you may notice a significant increase in your libido as well as an overall improvement in your sex life.
Conclusion
The concept of libido, developed by eminent figures such as Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, encompasses much more than mere sexual desire, extending to our vital drives and aspirations in various aspects of life. Although libido varies among individuals and is influenced by factors such as age, psychological state, and health, understanding it remains essential for maintaining satisfying and fulfilling relationships.
In women, libido is influenced by hormonal fluctuations, while in men, testosterone plays a crucial role. The reasons for a decrease in libido are manifold, ranging from stress and relational problems to underlying medical conditions and substance abuse.
To stimulate libido anew, various approaches can be considered, from therapy to the incorporation of foods and supplements known for their aphrodisiac effects. It is crucial to recognize that libido and sexual desire can be influenced by a multitude of factors and that a holistic approach may be necessary to restore a satisfying balance in an individual's sex life.
Finally, open communication with a partner and possibly the help of a healthcare professional can be important steps in managing and treating a decrease in libido, thereby restoring lasting intimacy and sexual satisfaction.
https://www.santemagazine.fr/psycho-sexo/desir-et-plaisir/libido
https://www.livi.fr/en-bonne-sante/perte-libido/
https://playsure.fr/blogs/infos/une-vie-intime-epanouissante-avec-le-sopk
